We medical students have had our fair share of chemistry. Organic chemistry, inorganic chemistry, biochemistry... you name it, we’ve been through it. Many had tough times with it while a few lucky ones like myself who have a penchant for it, breezed through it. We all agree on one thing though- reactions are always balanced.
I lay in bed, easing into hubby’s hands, resting my head on his chest, feeling his abundant chest hair (yummy!) tickle my nose. I inhaled deeply his masculine scent- one that both comforts me and drives me wild, tempting me into sin.
You see.. I’ve always had this acute sense of smell- one where I could literally smell someone familiar meters away as if I was some german shepherd. Every smell soon gets itched in. Alot of my memories are either triggered by or have a particular scent or aroma accompanying them. His scent caused a chemical reaction in me.
I ran my fingers through his chest, thinking about everything we’ve been through- about how we met for the first time- how our eyes met and how we kept bumping into each other four times randomly over a period of time.. about how he we finally decided to sit down and talk.. about how he could stand the hyper me.. about how he’d keep me company on the phone till I fell asleep ‘cos I was (and still am) afraid of the dark.. about how we had the incredible urge to kiss and hold each other but never acted on it.. about how we texted each other throughout a movie as we didn’t want to risk being thrown out for being loud.. about how he wept like a baby sometime after our breakup, telling me he loved and couldn’t do well without me.. about how on our first night in bed, he put his own pleasure on hold and said “Take all the time you need before you feel ready to give yourself to me- be it a week, a month or a year”... about how we sat down about how I fought with him and how he’d just stay amazed, smiling as he’d go “You’re beautiful when you’re angry too.”
I could never stay angry with him- after all, I’ve never had a legitimate reason to do so. I mean who was I kidding? Everything just pales away into insignificance. We overcame all these adversities. We had it going for us.. we were what people wanted.. we were what we wanted.. we were what I wanted. His love, compassion and patience caused a chemical reaction in me.
I remembered how my feelings echoed that of Ally McBeals’ a couple of months before: it wasn’t about me wanting a man- was about me wanting a partner.. a partner to go through life with and because I’m heterosexual, it happens to limit the field to men at least if I want to make love and I do. I like making love and if that makes me weak, tough, I want to be weak. I want a partner! I want to make love! I want a house with furniture.. I want to have a baby, I wanna have all of it. I want to get fatter. I want to wear maternity dresses. I want to stick my legs up, get two shots of pitocin and spit the little thing out right between my thighs and then have him suck on my breasts with daddy standing there the whole time playing the camcorder. That is what I wanted. And instead of sitting back, hoping for it to happen, I was going to make it happen.
It was when I stopped trying though, did things actually take off. He came into my life when I was least expecting it. Our personalities catalyzing the reaction as passion heated and speed it up greatly. As shy as he was, he warmed up when he realized his love and desire to get know me outweighed his shyness. I alone didn’t make it happen- we made it happen- our chemistry made it happen. Fast forward and here we are today- in love, together, smelling like each other. It takes two hands to clap. I was inert, yes but not when it came to him- I reacted, I craved and continue to crave him.
My stomach felt queasy- its the damn sickness again.. I felt like throwing up. He instinctively moved his hands over my stomach, rubbing it gently. Warmth enveloped me. I basked in his love. I did feel better. I wondered how he felt what was going on despite being in a deep slumber. If this isn’t chemistry, I don’t know what it is. My soul maginfies his’ and I rejoiced in him. He is the reason for my chemistry.
So what is chemistry might you ask? It is the science of love. It is the alchemy of the soul. It is where one action has its own reaction- one that cannot be forced. It is where that one spark alone gets the fire going, lighting the flames of passion. It is the very essence of life. That’s what chemistry is. That’s what chemistry does. That’s what chemistry feels like- intoxicating, warm, robust and undying.
Chemistry: you either have it or you don’t.