Children: Blessing or Curse?

Sunday, August 17, 2008

They can be as cute as annoying, as sweet-smelling as foul, as soft as rashy, as intelligent as senseless and an asset as much as a liability. No, I’m not talking about your girlfriends. I’m talking about children.

I’ve always dreamt of being a mother to awesome kids. Though I’m not biologically capable of giving birth, I’d adopt or maybe my to-be-husband would have children from a previous marriage or something. Whatever it is, it matters not. I so want to be a mother! I decided after med school in a couple of years, I’d specialize in pediatrics and emergency medicine. Pediatrics because I love children and emergency medicine because I love thinking on my feet. I’ve always enjoyed the company of children- my niece, the kids in the neighborhood, the children in the hospital. It would therefore come as no surprise when I’d tell you I was eager to meet an Ex’s children.

After lunch at his place, he had to go to some meeting that just came up. He left me home with the kids. The boy was a smart, notorious little thing who, like all young boys loved his sister but fought with her loads. The little girl wanted me to make her up. How could I say no? Its my forte, after all!

Me:Ok.. lets make you beautiful!
Boy: Ha! Like that's going to happen.
Me: Hey.. be nice to your sister.
Boy: Why? Because we're family?
Me: Yeah and because you're father's going to be old and sick one day.. and you'll want him to live with her.

We had a great laugh, and I made us all a nice smoothie and put the remainder in the fridge- the kids could enjoy some yummy yoghurt-icecream later! He then came back and we decided to go to a funfair. Needless to say, it was just fun. The kids and I got along and it was just amazing so much so that the sibling rivalry reduced quite a bit. I knew something was up.

Me: Why are you being so nice to your sister? Who did you kill?
Him: I wonder why everyone expects the worst of me?
Me: It saves time.
Him: I just want an xbox!

I laughed my ass off. Children are always up to something, I learnt. My friend Sonto and I briefly talked about children while we were watching ‘Birth Stories’ on Reality TV.

Sonto: Argh! All that pain for these nasty, bed-wetting, fools who could potentially end up being drug addicts!
Me: Does that mean you don’t want children?
Sonto: Well, I’m not saying I don’t.. they just better not give me problems.
Me: Yeah, well, that’s bound to happen.. all the crying..
Sonto: I’ll slap them everytime they cry till they realize crying does them no good.
Me: Okayyy… and if they disobey you?
Sonto: That’s when I tell them “Listen here.. Just like I brought you into this world, I’ll take you out.”
Me: (imagining the child going right back into Sonto’s vah-jay-jay) Hahahahaha! How’re you going to take him out?
Sonto: I’ll be a practicing doctor then. I’ll take him out with an injection.

I prayed, asking the Lord to spare me. I made a mental note to never come back as Sonto’s child if I ever reincarnate!

Sonto isn’t the only one who thinks children are a problem. There are thousands of others out there who share the same view. There are people out there who want to marry but not have kids. There are people out there who don’t want to get married so they won’t have kids. There are people who just can’t see themselves having children. Well, children aren’t as bad as they seem.

I know a friend who’s in a relationship with this guy who doesn’t believe in marriage. (Okay fine, make that a few!) He doesn’t want to get married, have children, etc. His take on this (and I know there are so many people out there who believe the same) is that marriage and especially children would destroy a relationship. The time spent becomes more family/children-centered and the magic is lost. I just wonder though, if he (and the people who believe the same) ever thought about his own parents. They seem to be the envy of their friends- they kept the family together, gave their children freedom, raised ‘em well and they still have romantic evenings together. So why all this?

I think people are taking this modernization thing a bit too far- just like they do with everything else. I mean what happened to the great belief and pride we have in multi-tasking? In the past, we women would just be housewives. After the feminist movement, we would want to be mothers and work. Now, all we want to do is to just work and focus on our lingerie- so much so that we actually liken them to our intimate wear?!

“Children are like brassieres- they divide and separate.”

I think we need to keep this new-found freedom in check- just like our unchecked ambitions. In our hopes of climbing the corporate ladder, we’re missing out on quality of life. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want the only proof of my existence to be my fat bank balance. Nope. No abso-fucking-lutely way!

Yeah you’d love to be with your partner forever- just the two of you and all that crap. I hate to break it to you but its going to come to an end one day. Do you know how boring it would be in time?! Damn. You may see children as the cause for the magic dying down but I think they keep it going. They give you new things to do. Everything evolves- as will our desires in time. Having children, I believe, is the next stage of the relationship- it is evolution. Where there is no growth, there aren’t any lessons. And when there aren’t any lessons, you’ve learnt and gained nothing- which literally means you’re in a stagnant state. And when you’re in that stagnant state, you’re one depressed, pathetic, lonely fool. You’re a vegetable. I mean you might as well save the plastic on your furniture for the afterlife ‘cos you’ll need something to sit on while you’re playing with your dick in hell. Its one waste of life.

Alas, children to me are blessings- even the ones I see in the roads. I treat them like mine. Screw the medicine that says you can’t have a heart-to-heart connection with patients (especially in pediatrics)- you’re as good as a zombie treating the wild. Quite honestly, you wouldn’t do your best to save someone because they’re not yours’.

I’m not saying you must have children. Neither am I saying you should want to have kids. All I’m saying is, keep your mind open- you’re bound to change and never know what the future holds- you might want children then. Be open-minded and don’t view children as irritating creatures ‘cos hon- you were irritating once upon a time (and probably still are) and so were your parents and their parents and so on. Its evolution- don’t fight it- just go through it. Its all about balance- manage your time well.

MayaSutra: No, children are NOT like brassieres- they do NOT divide and separate. They keep that flame burning brightly and take your relationship to the next level. Raise them well and they give you some satisfaction. Its all about balancing your time- which you should be doing anyway. The next time you see a child out there, smile, if not hug it. Trust me, a little love goes a long way- it only takes a spark to get a fire going.


Anonymous said...

hellowie maya! :) long time no see...
yeah well, i followed the lead and shifted to wordpress after you did,thinking it's a loat better :P Anyways, I hardly get the time to blog, so I got myself a diary instead :-)
PS: 1 entry in the diary so far ;-) haha


Anonymous said...

A beautiful post. You will make an excellent mother. I totally agree with your views on the matter holistically.


PaLoMiNo said...

since when did u go private?!

come backkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk